Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dot Update - Tues PM

I figured this was the easiest way to get the word out, sorry I haven't been able to reply to everyone yet.  It's been crazy here.

Dot's blood work came back and she has won the title of the absolute worst numbers the vet has ever seen on a dog still alive.  The levels are absolutely insane.  That said, she said Dot didn't match the numbers as she shouldn't be functioning, much less alive.  So on that note we decided together to give her another 24 hours to see if she could be stabilized.  She rec'd a liter of SubQ fluids and a huge dose of strong anti-nausea meds.  She is also on two Pepcid AC a day to try to control the acid/ulcers so she'll maybe want to eat.

After about 11:30 tonight the nausea meds should be in full effect, if she continues to vomit then it's a sign that she is not going to stabilize.  Same with diarrhea.  Dr. Becky will be back over here around 3 tomorrow to reevaluate her and again we will make a decision to either stop treatment or continue until Thursday.  (Unless I wake up tomorrow and she's crashed already) If she does not show signs of significant change by Thursday then I'm going to let her go.  I don't know what else to do, I can't continue to drag it on for her if she's not improving and feeling horrible.  This entire situation is terrible.

If she DOES start to improve and show signs that the treatment is helping then we'll go into a daily routine of the Pepcid, anti-nausea meds and I will inject a liter of fluids on a daily basis for essentially as long as she lives.  If during this she slides back downhill then essentially her kidneys are past the point and there will be nothing else to do.  Another problem we will have if we can get her stabilized is that she won't be able to be on her arthritis meds so it's going to be a fine line of quality of life.

Everything she ate this morning (a piece of lunch meat and a treat) she vomited up this afternoon.  After she rec'd the fluids tonight I got her to eat a piece of bologna and half a piece of cheese.  It's still down an hour later so I have hopes it will stay down all night.

I'm in a terrible place right now, she's in very bad shape but still shows signs that she could be better.  It's not like she's down and staying down all the time which would make the decision clear.  If someone comes in she still gets up, wags and looks for attention.  If the other dogs bark she's interested and maybe barks too.  On the other hand I catch her six inches from the wall just staring like she doesn't know where she is.  I really don't know what to do at this point and I have no crystal clear sign.  I don't want her to suffer, I don't want to drag it on for her if she's not going to recover but where's the line that enough is enough and let her go?  I don't know.  We set the Wednesday and Thursday deadlines and I'm relying heavily on Dr Becky's experience and expertise, I trust her opinion.  To be honest, I thought tonight was going to be the night and it was her idea to give her another day to look for change so I feel that's justified, that I'm not dragging it out just for myself.

My instinct is telling me she's at the end, the heart says to try something else and my mind just wants to shut down and make me run away.  On top of that I haven't even started to address losing Millie in my head and I feel horribly guilty like her dying has been discounted or not as important.  I can't deal with actually dealing with losing her when I'm on the verge of losing Dot too.  I guess that makes no sense, I can't think anymore.

Thank you to everyone.  You guys are the best.  I will update in the morning.  Sorry for these impersonal posts but I can't figure out another way of doing it.

Maryann

15 comments:

Ruby Bleu said...

I'm not sure what to say other than you are doing all the right things you need to do at this moment. Please remember to take care of yourself too...I know it's hard. Ruby and I are praying and crossing everything we can.

love you,
michele

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

*hugs to you* I have been through this, and I have no advice. Every case is different. All I can say is hug Dot, and tell her you love her. I think taking another day is a good idea - you'll feel better for it, and it won't hurt Dot. My heart goes out to you. And don't stress about Millie; there will be time to process that. Focus on Dot, and take care of yourself, as well.

*hugs to you*
-Dr. Liz

Asta said...

MaryAnn
Thank you for keeping us updated.After the days you've had, I don't know how you can even write.
I know you will know what to do. You know Dot best and love her and you WILL know.
We hold you in our hearts. Millie is not in pain, and she knows Dot needs you now. She is not forgotten. DOn't ever feel guilty. you are a most wonderful person and Mom
We pray that you get some rest and that Dot can stay pain free, and that you realize that you can't do everything. you are doing the best you can and they love you for it
love from us and Asta's smoochie kisses
Ami and George

Painter Pack said...

Dearest friend, we are holding you up in prayer. I know the pain of loss and there will be a time and place to begin the grieving process for Millie. Her life and memory will never be forgotten. But right now, you have to concentrate on Dot...and yourself. I know you are doing everything possible for your baby and it sounds like your VET is a great asset. Use this to guide you. You'll know when the time comes.

As always, take a moment and breathe...it is very important that you do not neglect yourself as you have others that depend on you. Please, take care and know that we are here for you.

Sherri

roughseasinthemed said...

Maryann
Thank you so much for taking the time to let us all know through your blog posts what is going on. It's not impersonal at all, and it means we can all comment without you feeling the need to get back to any or all of us. Paws crossed that Dot stays with you as long as she feels able to. Hugs to you all.

Kate and Pippa

Maggie and Mitch said...

You and Dot and constantly in our thoughts and prayers, Maryann
(((hugs)))

Love ya lots
Maggie, Mitch and Sue

Peppy Sheppys said...

We love you guys. Thanks for letting us know what is going on, we know how hard it is to talk/write/think about. We will keep you in our thoughts.

Sheps, Otis, Edgrr & our ape.

Bren said...

you are such a wonderful dog mommy. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too. x

Penny and Patches said...

Huge hugs to you, Maryann! It is never easy when our furkids are sick! Dot will let you know when it's time for her to go. Somehow, they have ways of telling us. Hang in there!

Aire-hugs,
Penny, Patches and Lana

Gus said...

Maryanne: We are reading this in the morning, hoping that you and Dot had a peaceful night. We can only echo what others have said, just want you to know we are thinking of you and holding you and the pack in our hearts. We grieve for Millie every time we look at Teka, so let us handle that for a few more days.

hugs, kisses and terrier vibes
Gus, Teka and the Muzzer

Raising Addie said...

Sherri has beautifully said what we were thinking.

Hang it there and give Dot lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

Lots of Luv & Kisses
Addie, Lucie, Hailey and Staci

The Heartbeats said...

Honey you are doing just fine. You love your furry babies and you'll do the right thing by them. You ARE doing the right thing. Millie understands. You will know soon what you should do and you will have peace and so will the rest of the pack including Dot and Millie. Just know that it is out of your hands and hold her paw. She will let you know.

Hugs,
Mamma Heartbeat

Jake of Florida said...

Maryann,

Just sending you love and encouragement during these stressful hours. There is no manual as to how to deal with all this -- you just have to follow your heart and the best advice you're getting. Hugs.

Joan and the Boyz

Louka said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear that, Maryann. That's the absolute hardest decision to make. All my love to you and Dot-spot.

Lacy said...

OOo Maryann, i am sooo sorry things are like this...i know u are soo worried about Dot and who can blame u..she is very sick..buttt i dont blame u for giving her a chance, sounds like to me she is fighting as much as she can to win this battle..remember whichever decision u make we are with u, u and dot are in our prayers and thoughts..

b safe and get well dot,
the hudson furkids and mama..