The name is Thrawn and I was named after Grand Admiral Thrawn from Star Wars. Grand is a pretty good description of me because, quite frankly, I am. Mom wanted to name me Flower, after the skunk in Bambi. I would have been cool with that, I don't have a problem with my masculinity. Besides, sometimes I hear the humans muttering about my gas so I suppose it would fit.
Dakota is harping on me to tell how I ended up here so to shut him up here goes. I will not answer any questions past what I'm telling you here so don't ask me. My story begins at the dumpster of a car wash where my Mom found me one Saturday morning. I was browsing for some food and I guess I looked a bit on the thin side because she started chasing me all over the empty lot next door. I was SO not interested in her but she left and came back with a sack full of these heavenly things called, oh, the name escapes me. OH yes, Egg McMuffins. I was LURED, tricked, SEDUCED even into that car I tell you with these delightful morsels. I didn't need help, I wouldn't have let her get near me if it weren't for that damn Ronald McDonald.
Sure enough, as soon as the car door closed I was whisked away to the vet where they poked and prodded me for ages. Like a cheap tabloid he told Mom all my secrets - I was literally starving at only 35 pounds and had cigarette burn marks all over my paws and body. She cried a lot and that's when I figured out that if she felt sorry for me maybe I could have all the Egg McMuffins I could eat and that was the start of our very special relationship. Here's me on the day I was found...
About six months after coming home I had my first seizure and I think almost scared Mom to death. I was eating a bone at the time so she freaked out since she didn't know what was happening and tried to stick her hand down my throat to get it out. Unfortunately I bit her hand pretty good but technically it's not my fault since I didn't know what I was doing. More poking and prodding and now I'm on a stringent medical plan of 4 Phenobarbital pills a day and quarterly bloodwork. I still have seizures every few months or so but it's ok. I sure do get a lot of extra attention because of it so I deal.
Anyway, enough about that. As Tucker so jealously put it, I have special needs so I do get a few perks around here. He can be as snarky as he wants about it but if he had to go to the vet every three months he'd be a nervous wreck. I get to stay in kitchen/mystery room when the folks aren't home in case I have a seizure. The others here like to try to beat me up while I have a seizure, like vultures after the sick King of the Jungle. It makes me pretty angry but then they get in a lot of trouble which I find amusing.
I'm not into swimming like Tucker and Dakota, I prefer to lie around on the cool floor or the leather couch and relax. I don't do babies or toys either - how pedestrian. Bones are my one vice, I will do anything for a nice softened up bone to chew. Well, bones or anything left within reach on the counter. I've gotten in a bit of trouble in the past with this but I'm always forgiven because I'm Thrawn. Here are a couple pictures from the archives involving the candy drawer I figured out how to open, a red ink pen and five pounds of flour. I'll leave you now until I have something further to say.
Peace, Love and Bones (what a stupid saying) - Thrawn