I want to post some of my favorite pics of Millie through the last three years, but can't get to that point yet. Hopefully soon because I don't want to trivialize losing her because I'm stressed out about Dot.
Yesterday I got home to meet our vet for Dot but Millie wouldn't get up to go out. I carried her out and she did her business as usual but didn't want to move much. Her abdomen was HUGE, round and super hard. As soon as Dr. Becky got there we weighed her and she had over 4 pounds of fluids in her, she had gone from 17 pounds a couple weeks ago to over 21 lbs yesterday. I'm sure you can imagine what 25% weight gain suddenly did to her body. She did a quick needle aspiration of her abdomen which showed it was all fluids. We rushed her to the ER (Dr. Becky has use of the facility for her own practice), I helped hold her down while she took her x-rays. I can't even explain how big her middle was an how much fluid was in there, it was pressing all of her organs especially her heart. She had been heavy panting since I got home, it was partially due to her heart and lungs being essentially squeezed. Just horrible.
The option was to needle drain her stomach, inject diuretics then seen if we could see more in another x-ray as the fluids were blocking the view of much of her insides. Chances are it was either heart failure or a cancer issue (flashback to Tucker). When we did the needle aspiration at the house it really hurt her and I was torn about draining her abdomen as it's not a pleasant process. We talked more about it, we could do this but whatever was causing it would just build the fluids back up in her and she'd have to continually have to be needle drained. She was too old and frail to "fix" whatever was wrong as she couldn't make it through surgery.
I didn't know what else to do. I promised myself after Thrawn I wouldn't prolong because I couldn't let go. I still did to an extent with Tucker that night and still regret it. Part of me feels guilty that I didn't go ahead w/ the draining and more x-rays but I don't know what I would have even done after putting her through that. I just don't know what the right answer was and I sure as hell don't know if I made it.
In the meantime Dot's kidneys are failing. It was probably looming anyway and my decision to try the Meloxicam pushed it over the edge. I can't even deal with that fact right now. We loaded her with subcutaneous fluids last night and I managed to get a piece of bread with peanut butter down her but that was it. I will be giving her daily injections of fluids to see if it improves her condition and her blood values will be back either tonight or in the morning. If she doesn't show improvement in the next 48-72 hours and depending on what the blood work says then I'm going to have to make a decision for her. Dr. Becky stressed that kidney failure is not a peaceful way to pass away and I don't want to make her go through that.
If she does show improvement and start eating again then I will continue the fluids on a daily basis, then eventually move to every other day. I hope this is the case, I don't care if I have to administer fluids multiple times a day if it improves her condition. I will admit I'm very nervous about doing it for the first time after work today as I do NOT do well with anything medical/needle related but will just suck it up and do it.
ETA: She woke up this morning, drank a ton of water then vomited it all back up. I finally got her to eat a little lunch meat and another piece of bread w/ pb on it. I waited 20 minutes before leaving and she still had it down.
ETA after lunch: Went home and tried everything under the moon to get her to eat. She wouldn't touch a thing and then I noticed she had vomited everything from this morning plus a ton of fluid. She's listless, just staring into space or at the wall. Dr. Becky is coming back this afternoon to evaluate her and make a decision on what to do.
Thank you again for all the support and love.