Friday, July 29, 2011

I really wanna stay.

Hi.  It's Conrad.  I've never blogged but am gonna try it out.

I don't wanna leave and go live with someone else.  I like it here with all my brothers.  I even have a big sister that hates me.  Doesn't that mean she wants me to stay?  I've tried really hard to be good.  I guess I messed up eating the window sill and some other stuff, but I'm still a dumb puppy so I should be forgiven right?

I even had surgery on my privates so I could be in the cool dog club.  It kinda hurt but not really.  Felt a little funny after though, like being naked down there.  At least they don't bounce when I run anymore and no dog can bite them.
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They have burger night here.  I don't know if I could find another house that has burger night and that would make me cry.
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I didn't even know this, but you can eat these things called MOO TUBES.  They're the throats from cows.  Isn't that cool but kinda gross?  They're crunchy and crack when you bite them like chips.
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Wait till I tell you what part of the bull we get to chew on...it's gnarly and totally rad.  Shhh....it's their....WEENIES!  Can you believe it???  They're chewy and long (freakishly long actually) and are kinda greasy.  Otis says not to compare mine to theirs because they're obviously freaks of nature and must be on "the juice" like that guy Vin Diesel that Mom thinks is hot . The humans call them pizzle or bully sticks so they're not completely grossed out about bull ding-dongs being in their house.  Mom freezes them so they're kinda like Penis-Popsicles.  Man I love it here so much.

The other night we had mail and it was a bag of ANTLERS.  I thought it was kinda sad that they made deer give up their antlers, but then Mom said they left them in the forest for us so that's ok then.  They're humane antlers.  I wonder if that's how the bulls give us their bully sticks too.  Hmm.  I'll ask Rulon, he knows everything and is very smart.  He tells me so everyday.  Here's me chewin' a Bambi-friendly antler.
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The magic mailman brought us this big bed, it's like a poofball that never goes flat and we can wrestle on it too.  I sleep on it sometimes when my brothers let me.  (This came from the phone so it's kinda fuzzy)  Wow, Otis has a big butt here.
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I don't have a picture yet, but Bear told me a story about how to really be an official Brat you have to have a scar and I HAVE ONE!  It's on my cheek and it's totally a hole because Otis beat me up!! (Uh, that's another story for another day and I kinda let him)  I have to get Mom to take a pic of it, it didn't really bleed but it's still a scar so that counts for sure!

Most of all I don't wanna leave because my big brother Bear is my best friend in the whole entire world. I want to be just like him when I grow up.
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He loves me too. A lot. I just know it.

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So these are some of the reasons I should stay.  I have more though but Sister Sam says I have to go and she's the boss of me.

- Conrad (I'll have a nickname soon and I hope it ROCKS)

7 comments:

Jasmine, BamBam & Eski said...

THIS IS SO COOOOL!!!!
Yay! dogs rule!!

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

We're pretty sure once you get to blog, you get to stay.
Your pals, Morgan & Maisie

Sam said...

We think you should stay!

Sam

Maggie and Mitch said...

We sure hope you get to stay! Our paws are crossed for you, Conrad!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Gus said...

We sure hope you get to stay. You are right, there are probably only a few places in the world where you would be as loved and cherished.

Maybe at Wally's place, and maybe here, but Teka lives here, so I don't think you want to.

gussie

Lisa said...

Another vote for Conrad to stay. He fits in so nicely and he's done a bang-up job with the backyard landscaping.

Jake of Florida said...

Conrad,

We think you deserve to stay because you're so clever and observant and eloquent and the other Brats may need you to be their spokes-dog.

We know you've lucked into a very cool place and our paws are crossed that you become an official Brat real soon!

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

PS We never ever have burger night. How cruel is that?