Friday, June 29, 2007

My Mom

My soulmate Sherman tagged me to tell about Mom and I'm soooo excited! At first I was going to get her to write an essay like his Mom, but mine is a pro-cras-nator and we'd be waiting forever. I've decided to copy other dogs and have an interview with her. This way she can't ramble on forever either. This is my first intelektual attempt so be nice.

I thought I'd wear Mom's glasses so I'd look like a serious reporter, but things just got really fuzzy. How does she see out of these things? Maybe that's why I'm not being fed enough. OK, forget that. This is a print article anyway so we don't need pictures.

Dot-Spot (D): Hi Mom, thanks for letting me interview you.
Mom (M): You're welcome, I hope you'll be nice. I've read some of these other interviews and they had some hard hitting questions.
D: Not me, Mom. You know I'm just ditzy Dottie, right?
M: :::laughing::: Right.
D: That's not nice. I'm very smart.
M: I know, I know, I'm just kidding.
D: Then why do you treat me like I'm an airhead?
M: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
D: Well, I hope it stops now.

D: On to my questions, I want to cut right to the chase. What did you think when the shelter called and told you I was there with my puppies?
M: I thought "how much work could nine 3 day old puppies be?"
D: What did you think when you got to the shelter and saw all of us?
M: Ummm, "what the hell was I thinking?"
D: Why didn't you let me keep my puppies?
M: :::sigh::: We've been over this, there was no way we could all live together. You met all of their new parents and know we found good homes.
D: Yea, ok.

D: Can you tell us what you do to support all of us?
M: Construction stuff. You wouldn't understand.
D: Cause I'm Ditzy Dottie?
M: NO, because it's just pipe stuff and it's not that exciting. Believe me. Grown men don't understand it sometimes.
D: If you don't like pipe then why do you do it?
M: So I can pay your vet bills. Oh, and buy you new toys on a daily basis...and buy your 9 million dollar Rabbit and Potato food...and..
D: Nevermind. We get the point. Do you work on the street and hold up a sign like those construction people we see from the car sometimes?
M: No, I work in the office.
D: Is that why you don't exercise?
M: Sure.
D: Since you don't exercise and don't watch what you eat why do I have to be on a diet and exercise plan?
M: Because you're way overweight and it's bad for your health.
D: And it's not bad for yours?
M: Leave me alone about it.
D: Oh, I see. Sensitive.
M: Next question or this interview is over.

D: OK, if you didn't play with pipe for a living what would you do?
M: I'd be a writer, maybe kids books.
D: Are you qualified? I mean, you've never given birth like me. I think I'm more qualified than you to write books for the young. You could be ruining our future leaders.
M: I'm getting up.
D: Ok, Ok, sorry. We'll move on.

D: You spend a lot of time without us, what do you do when you leave the house besides work? You leave us home a lot and we've all been wondering.
M: I hardly leave you Brats alone so don't even try that. When I'm gone I'm probably shopping for you, or picking up your medicine or something.
D: Sometimes you come home smelling like food - what do you like to eat? The only thing we see you eat here is stuff that you bring home from Sonic and cereal.
M: My favorite is Mexican and Italian.
D: What diet are THOSE on?? Nevermind, no answer needed. What else do you like to do?
M: I like to travel -
D: You do remember that Thrawn has seizures when you leave town right??? Is it really worth it?
M: Like I was saying - I LIKE to travel but don't do it much. I want to go on a Cruise, learn to scuba dive, go on some humanitarian trips to maybe Haiti, that kind of thing.
D: I hope Thrawn doesn't read this, it could push him right into a seizure bout.
M: It's not like I'm leaving next week, Dot.
D: I should hope not, you just had a vacation and that's enough till 2009.
M: You're driving me crazy. I also like to shop, do stuff with animal rescue, I'd like to do more home improvement stuff but just haven't gotten around to it. Other than that I just like to spend time hanging out with you guys.

D: Do you think I'll have more brothers and sisters?
M: NO. Five is our limit. Period.
D: Uh, huh. I thought four was our limit. Are you going to have a litter of humans?
M: NO. We're not having human brothers or sisters either.
D: Phew, I hear that they steal a lot of attention. (I learned that from Lady & The Tramp) Do you like girl dogs or boy dogs better?
M: I like you all equally.
D: But you like me best of all, right? Cause I'm the best and the prettiest.
M: Everyone is equal.
D: Except for me.
M: Is there anything else you'd like to know?
D: Are you ever going to build us a room of our own on the house?
M: Why do you need a room of your own? You don't leave my side.
D: Well, yea. We have nowhere else to go because we don't have a room of our own. Plus you just said you wanted to do home improvement. Can we have a pool?
M: You don't swim.
D: Well, Tucker does and maybe Bear. They paid me $5 to ask. What if Tucker's joints got bad and he needed to swim for therapy? Would you buy us one then?
M: We'll see when that happens. For now, the answer is no.
D: You say no a lot. I don't think that's healthy.

D: We're almost out of time and I'm getting sleepy. Let's recap - she eats junk food all the time, she sits on her butt all day at work, she doesn't seem to have much of a life outside this house and she's too stingy to build us a room or a pool. That's about it in a nutshell. I didn't really learn much about her that I didn't know. I don't know how helpful this interview was. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a Dog-Reporter, maybe my calling is elsewhere. I better get that "What Color is my Parachute?" book and figure out what to do with my life.

Dot-Spot OUT.

PS: We are tagging Harley & Hagen, Cosmo and Tasha & Eva!


wally said...

GOod job Dot! Our moms sound very similar, with the sitting and the food. Ha! Importantly, their lives revolve around US.

I hadn't realized you were a single mom, Dot! I am glad your pups found wonderful homes. And just think--if your bros and sisses hog so much attention, then imagine how much your babies would hog!


Sasha said...

Ooh, good interview, Dot! And I added you to my friends!

Balboa said...

What a nice mommy to sit down for an interview, I can tell she loves you all very much. WOW, she is truly devoted to all of you, what a nice mommy.

Dot, you are I think you are very talented Dot. Those were some thoughtful questions and your opinions quite humorous.

Frenchie SNorts

Texas's Mum said...

Hey TBP,
I think you did a
fantastic job Dot.

Love and Licks
Texas (and his humans).

Ruby Bleu said...

Dot-Spot...what an pawesome interview...especially considering what a tough subject you had!!! You mom really does say no alot!!!

Brat Mom...thanks for sharing!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Kerrio said...


That's brilliant

Luckie Girl said...

Hey Dot!!
That was a very in-depth interview with your Mom. I think she's a wonderful lady and her job sounds very interesting!!

Gus said...

Dot: Good job on the interview. I hope you are not in too much trouble now. Teka says you are her idol for the way you talk to your mom! I don't necessarily think that is a good thing.


Peanut said...

I think your interview was good. We learned stuff we didn't know about your mom.

Sophie Brador said...

Dot, You are a pro! Do you think your mom would mind if I emailed her with a question about seizures?

Maggie said...

Great interview Dot! I like how you tried to get your mom to play favorites and she dodged you! Your mom is smart!

Love ya lots,

Lorenza said...

Hi, Dot.
Thanks for that interview with your mom.
Now we know her better.
Sure she has to work a lot to pay your vet bills, food and toys.
Have a nice weekend

Jasmine said...

oh my tis sure is interesting!
very well written M - oh, i mean, Dot!

hmm, probably should consider a POOL!

IndyPindy said...

Hahahahaha! Great interview, and very funny! You are a talented reporter Dot!

Lee :) said...

What creative questions and a great interviewer look Dot. :) You and your Mom did a great job.

Whew, taking care of the five of you by herself must be a lot of work. Don't give her too hard of a time. :) She seems to love you all very much.

Thanks so much for the support with Amici's last seizure. It was really nice of you and we really appreciate it.

PiratesGrrl said...

Sophie - I'm sure you can email Mom about anything. She doesn't do much else but hold the laptop so she's around a lot. :)


PiratesGrrl said...

Sophie - I'm sure you can email Mom about anything. She doesn't do much else but hold the laptop so she's around a lot. :)


Dakota said...

Dot, your Mom sounds a like a really cool mom to have. You should check out a future in reporting. I hear Katie Couric is leaving.

Turbo the Sibe said...

That's a fantastic interview!

Holly said...

Excellent interview. Your humans behavior sounds a lot like mine!


MaconDawg said...

Oh Dot... what a great interview. I really think that you should get your own pool or room in the house. Keep on your mom about that!

Dory and Liza said...

Dot -

Hard hitting journelism - you should work for the Washington Post!!

Love ya - Dory

Flossikens said...

Your blog is so COOL! :]


Floss & Jez

ROSSI said...

Hi Dot.. this is the first time i visited your brat pack's blog.. and is so funny n interesting.. oh yes.. nice interview you had there with yr mom.. u sure did a great job there.. oh i added u in my friend list..

send regards to tucker, thrawn n samantha..

Golden Rossi

Ferndoggle said...

Dot, I must say that was the most greatest interview I've ever heard. You're like Diane Sawyer...only much prettier.

Not only are we soulmates, but we have perfect Moms. Please tell your Mom that my Mom says thanks for being such a good sport!


Toby said...

Dot, that was a pawesome interview!! My mom enjoys sitting on her fat butt like yours too. I think they consider it a hobby!!

Keep working her for the pool...she'll cave.


Lady Kaos said...

That was a great interview Dot!! That was hilarious!

Cubby said...

Poor Dot! Your mom could have made your first interview easier!

Katherine and Pippa, said...

That was good.

We think you could have a cool career ahead.