The other day Mom brought home a bag of munchables that Nana sent me. I know she sent them for me becuz I'm her favorite pittie and secretly she wishes I oould live with her but knows she can't becuz she couldn't handle all the loves I have. It's a LOT.
All of a sudden I could picture it in my head...just like one of my favorite movies....I've never had moving munchables before 'cept for the ones I hunted myself so I was pretty stoked. (This must be what those heartless morons feel like that lure the poor innocent Bambis to big piles of food then shoots them while they eat because they don't have any cojones.) We went outside to eat, probably cuz I was droolin' all over wondering if they tasted like strawberries since they were so red.What the?!!? Next thing I knew Mom was letting my gourmet snacks run away and when I tried to catch them she was all "LEAVE IT!" and I was all "NO FAIR" and she was all "I DON'T CARE, LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!! I'M AN EVIL DICTATOR ON A POWER TRIP!!! NO MUNCHABLES FOR YOU!!!" just like that soup nazi guy on the reruns.
OK, that's not what she said but it could have been.
Then she found some stupid stick and tried to distract me from them running away. As if I would fall for that.Well, yea, ok. So I humored her. You might notice all those spots of dirt in the yard. When we bought the house that was grass but she says we leave toxic pee-mail everywhere and now she prays to the grass gods that it comes back. I hope it comes back too, otherwise we'll run out of grasses to eat to make ourselves horka on the only rug in the house.While she was mind-mojo'ing me all of the munchables escaped.Sad, very sad. To show my unhappiness I decorated the living room that night while they slept.The end. -Rulon
PS One of our humans is sick and coughing germs everywhere. We might need masks.