Monday, March 16, 2009

Mini Cooper is Evil.

Millie here. Actually, I'm starting to wonder what my real name actually is because sometimes I'm Mil, sometimes Millie-Vanilli and (ugh) sometimes Millie-Nillie-Willie-Vanilli in a really bad singing voice.
I just wanted to tell all of you that if your pawrents are looking for a car don't let them buy a Mini Cooper. Sure, they're all cute and fun to drive (or so the humans say) but they're evil.

Pure. Evil. That's right, I said it and BMW, if you're reading this TAKE THAT!

Let me back up...remember last week when we went to Nana's Dog Park? OK, well, the boys rode in the Brat-Mobile-Tahoe and the girls rode in the Evil-Mini because our human hasn't bought a ramp yet and Dot-Spot can't get in the Tahoe by herself anymore. This is all cool with me because I get to ride up front while the Chub Sisters are stuck in the backseat.

So we head out and the wind is blowing in my ears when all of a sudden...
I was looking at Mom because I figured she didn't take the brake off or something and she was looking at me with an odd look on her face. Well, come to find out the stupid Mini dings at you if you have to fasten the seatbelt. It only dings when there is a certain amount of weight in the front seat. It's never gave a ding before so what does it care now?! Unfortunately Mom didn't buy that theory and now I'm on a D-I-E-T. All because that evil car said I was fat.
Disgusted, starving and eating leaves to survive. -Millie

PS I can't ever get a post to myself. Here's Bear.
YOOOHOOOO!!! Don't forget the Pawty is this Friday! Check it out HERE and RSVP!

We're supposed to be modeling some of the pawsome prizes, but the boxes aren't here yet so now I have to use "stock photos". Geez.
OK, first up is one of our very favorite books. DOGTOWN!
This pawsome book has all kinds of great stories about the dogs that live at Dogtown at Best Friends. Mom especially loves this book because when she picked it up for the very first time and flipped through it at the bookstore she about fell over. There in the middle of the book is a picture of her and her very first BF sleepover dog, SPUDS!

Personally, we were just happy it was taken early in the trip when she was still in coordinating clothing and not looking like a homeless person. OK so get your RSVPs in...come and hang out with us on Friday night and compete in trivia for prizes or send us your info to become a Best Friends Member (or give the gift of Membership!) and be entered in the drawings.
Adios!! Care-Bear (also uncertain about my real name)


Gus said...

OK Millie! Here is the solution.

DO NOT sit in the middle of the seat. Try to stand up and put your paws on the dashboard. If this is not possible, get into the wheel well and put ONLY the front paws on the seat, so you are kind of half on, half off. OR..put the back paws on one side of the seat and the front paws on the other. The nasty sensor lives in the middle of the seat.

Works for me, usually.

Teka Toy

Gus said...

pee ess. seecrud word was "dente" which is my favorite pasta flavor! (as in "let's see if this is al dente" and then I get the rest of the piece.)


Ruby Bleu said...

Oh Millie that is so wrong. You are bootiful just the way you are!!! Plus, even if you have put on a few, you deserve to!!! W00t!

Me and Mom are so excitered about the pawty on fact she took off for the event. Actually she just took off, but sounds better to say she took off for your pawty, right?

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Nibbles Treats said...

Millie -

We think there is something wrong with the car and not your weight. Girl, you are just fine.

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Kris10 said...

My Dad's truck does the same thing! It didn't when I first came to my furever home, cause I was sick and not quiet as "healthy" as a boy as I am now. Now the dinger goes off all the time!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Tattletail! No wonder you think the mini is evil. It told on you. Should we gather up some leaves and twigs and send them air express so you have extra?

Peanut said...

Stupid car.

LuLu and LoLLy! said...

Dear Milli, Well it is truly distresting when a car is bad due to the fact that going in the car is one of the most important activitees for a dog, so we are truly very sorry to hear this report. Also, in terms of your name, we are subjected to similar stuff in that sometimes our Humans call LoLLy: "Lolly-lolly-pop-sickles" which is truly outragus sintz we are not GIVEN popsickles. Also, the Humans feed the fat evil pecan-throwing swirls and we have been very upset about that all weekend. Disgusted, your PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy!

Painter Pack said...

Woo is NOT fat!! It's a conspiracy! I bet da squirrels snuck up under the car and rigged it that way! Seriously!

Mya Boo Boo

Lisa said...


Why doesn't your human just buckle the seat without anything in it? Then the ding ding ding will stop. It dings for me, too, but seeing as how I'm the driver it would be good to have one. Actually it's good for all humans to wear one. Dogs, too, if possible. But, um, I don't think that's a reason for such a beautiful dog such as yourself to be forced onto a diet. Seems disrespectful if you ask me.


Mason Dixie said...

Mom's car has never ding at me but she says I am on a diet starting this week. so not fair. Good luck with your diet. =)

Eduardo said...

OH OH OH I wanna go to the pawty! Please tell me where to go & what to do!( I'm so sorry your on a diet!
Hugs & Snugs,
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hey Millie,
Thanks for the heads up about Minis.. The HuskeeMOBILE is an AUDI and it hasn't started 'ding-ing' -- YET... but the humans are thinking of changing it. I will tell them no Minis for sure.. (though our mom likes them).
Sorry to hear about your diet..

Sharon said...

Millie, I used to have a dog named Tilly and my favorite nick-name for her was Tillis Willis McGillis. So be thankful your mom didn't think of that one yet!!

<3 S and D

Moco said...

What kind of dumba-- car dings at you if you are too heavy? The crazy old bats car would be dinging all the time.
We want to participate in your party, but Grammie is always sleeping on Friday night. Wait we still have that plastic money card. We could send some of that plastic money.

The Bumpass Hounds said...

Sophoubt's if your weigh 147 lbs like she did last June. Now she weighs 101 lbs and is dancing limbo - how low can she go?. We have tried ramps for our Suburban but we don't like it. Nanook and Pooka have much better stairway. Our dad says that we're gonna get the stairs because dogs can negotiate small steps better than the ramp-TBH

Tadpole said...

Now CARS are into this anorexic-is-beautiful crap?! Where will it ENNNNNND?!?!?

wally said...

Ms Vanilli,

I agree with Tad. Do not give in to unrealistic body image. It's all photoshop anyway.

wally t.

P.S. Can we get one of those dingers for the couch for when my ma ape sits down?

PPS. I had to blog about Quickdraw. He is LOVELY, even if his head is a bit proportional for my tastes.

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

That's very interesting. My dad wants a mini, but obviously I should try to convince him otherwise.


Anonymous said...

Poor Millie!!